Be Selfish and Selfless at the same time

Who knows you best? Yourself,

So who can look after you in the best possible way? Yourself??

Yes and No.

Yes, because you know exactly what will fulfil your need and make you happy

and

No, because it is not within the capacity of one individual to fulfil all one’s needs even though one knows exactly what one needs.

After all, man is a social animal. These two words - social and animal are deeply meaningful.

An animal almost never looks beyond itself if you leave aside the innate parenting behaviour.

All its activities are directed towards satisfying its biological needs of food, sex and safety so that it may survive, procreate and be safe. There is almost no sense of society. Of course, there are exceptions, and communities of animals like herds of elephants are well known but exceptions are there only to prove the rule.

Man on the other hand is a social being, the individual needs society and society needs the individual. It is hard to imagine a human baby surviving on its own, if left to fend for itself.

As the highest evolved creatures to date, we have been blessed with a much wider scope and perspective in life, from education to aesthetics to spirituality and what not. That is why once our basic needs for food, shelter and clothing are fulfilled, we begin to look out for more satisfying avenues in life, albeit it is different for each and everyone.

To be able to achieve success in these ‘higher’ pursuits in life, and for society to survive at all, a degree of self sacrifice and a need to look at what others may need, are essential. An attitude of give and take is what makes us all survive as well as thrive. And experience will tell anybody discerning enough that this give and take is not at all straightforward, neither in space nor in time, nor in the individuals concerned.

What I mean to say is that if you be a Samaritan for one person, the very same person may even behave very badly with you but somebody else is likely to repay the good you have done, at some later date at some other place.

Herein lies the need to manage our expectations, i.e. to not to expect a straight compensation from the same individual straightaway. If we can slowly persuade ourselves to do that, or even if we start the process of doing so, I can assure you that it will go a long way in bettering human relationships.

I am reminded of Herd Immunity in medicine - if sufficiently large numbers in the population are immunised against a certain disease, the disease dwindles away in due course of time, as evidenced by the demise of Smallpox and nearly Poliomyelitis.

Similarly if we all begin to think of the other person, beginning from our very small surroundings and working constantly on it to expand this on to our given spheres in life, I can see strife and unhappiness coming down substantially, leading to a happier planet for all of us to live in.

So be selfish in looking after your own needs but go beyond yourself when you can!